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˙ɹǝʇɐl dn sᴉ ʎɐʍ ɥɔᴉɥʍ ʇno ǝɹnƃᴉɟ ll,I

˙uo ƃuᴉƃƃnɥɔ dǝǝʞ ɐuuoƃ ɯ,I uǝɥʇ lᴉʇun ʇnq ‘uoos uʍop ǝlʇʇǝs sƃuᴉɥʇ ʎllnɟǝdoH ˙ʇᴉ ƃuᴉop ɯ,I ʇnq ˙ɥʇᴉʍ lɐǝp oʇ pɹɐɥ s,ʇᴉ ˙˙˙ɔʇǝ ɔʇǝ ‘ɐᴉuɯosuᴉ ǝɥʇ ‘ssǝupǝɹᴉʇ sᴉɥʇ ɟo llɐ ‘uᴉɐd ɥɔɐɯoʇs sᴉɥʇ ll∀ ˙ɯlɐɔ ǝɹoɯ ǝlʇʇᴉl ɐ ǝɹǝʍ ǝɟᴉl ʎɯ ɟᴉ ǝɔᴉu ǝq plnoʍ ʇᴉ ʇnq ˙ʇsɹᴉɟ pɐǝɥ ʎɯ oʇ ǝɯɐɔ ʇɐɥʍ ƃuᴉʇᴉɹʍ ʇsnſ ˙ǝnlɔ ou ǝʌɐɥ I ¿ʇnoqɐ ƃuᴉʞlɐʇ I ɯɐ ʇɐɥM

¿ʇᴉq ǝlʇʇᴉl ɐ xɐlǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ os uʍop ǝlʇʇǝs oʇ ƃuᴉɥʇʎuɐ—ƃuᴉɥʇǝɯos ʇuɐʍ noʎ puɐ ɹᴉɐ ǝɥʇ uᴉ dn llɐ sᴉ ƃuᴉɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ ǝʞᴉl lǝǝɟ ɹǝʌǝ noʎ op

It’s frustrating dealing with mental health issues including depression and whatnot. Not many people understand it and fewer people know what to do about it. People want to help, but their either too far away or don’t know what to do.

There’s a lot that can be done for those struggling with mental health. I don’t have all the answers, and it can be different from person to person, but here’s some ideas I’ve had.

1. Listen

This can be the hardest thing to do. When you want to help someone through a situation, you feel like you have to actually do something. Something complicated or involved. Maybe you need training or a book with steps on what to do. But often times, the most effective help you can offer is a sympathetic ear.

Take time to listen, really listen. Ask questions. You’re not going to understand everything, but that’s okay. Show concern, empathy, and just listen. It doesn’t feel like you’re doing much, but time spent listening can be the most valuable thing in the world. People want to know they’re valued and being heard—listening is one way to show that.

2. Be There

Sometimes a person having a hard time just needs a presence nearby. Maybe that’s a friend watching Stranger Things 2 with them or simply sharing the same room. You don’t need to actively engage with each other but they need someone around them. Whether there’s talking, eating, or silence, having someone that cares nearby can be comforting and reassuring.

3. Gently Shift Focus

Depression, anxiety, and other related mental challenges can be all-consuming. Sometimes the person dealing with these issues can’t see anything that’s right in front of them. Or perhaps they can’t do things for themselves. Whatever the case, sometimes they need someone to step in and redirect their attention.

One way to accomplish this would be to suggest a simple activity like taking a walk down the street. It may seem insignificant, but a change in scenery with some fresh air and scenery really help to clear their mindset a bit. The problem is that a depressive might not be able to do this themselves; they need another person to gently push them to get out. Someone to be there to hold their hand.

4. Encourage Creativity

Engaging the mind in creative activities is therapeutic. It centers your attention on a single task, gives an outlet for emotional expression, and helps to organize thoughts. These are all beneficial for a depressive.

Suggest activities such as colouring, drawing, painting, cooking, looking at clouds, knitting, making music, writing, brainstorm movie ideas, sculpt clay, build a cardboard town, draw tattoos with markers, put together outfits, etc. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece or anything complex, and you might have to lead by example, but make sure that it’s a stress-free outlet for creative expression.

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I don’t know if this is making sense. It’s late and I’m not good at explaining things right now. I just… I wanted to share some simple ways to help those around you. Even if your friends aren’t depressed or dealing with mental health issues, these are good ways to be a better friend. Everybody needs help and encouragement. Listening, being there, and sharing activities are good no matter what. And for those who are struggling, these simple acts can make a world of difference.

M3

I have a question. Who am I? Who are we?

There’s many ways that this could be taken, there’s the physical aspect to myself with my body being composed of cells and whatnot. We could also go into the whole “you are the sum of your experiences” thought train. What I’m interested in, though, is the matter of time and how that impacts who we are—who I am.

I can say with 99% confidence that at this very moment I am me. Ten years ago I was also me. In another thirty minutes I will still be me. However, ten years ago I was different from the me now, and we know that I will be a different me in thirty minutes too, right? Right. (Right? I’m confused now.)

You might be thinking, “hey, sounds like you’re having an existential quarter-life crisis, Matthew,” and yeah… perhaps that’s exactly what is happening. But I’ve thought about this issue in various ways over the years; it’s one of those thoughts that repeatedly pops into my brain. It’s also a central point of exploration in several episodes of Star Trek.

Seriously though, I’m just wondering for the sake of wondering. People change. But their past is still part of them, yet it isn’t. Yanno? I dunno. I was going somewhere with this and then I walked away from the computer and now I have no clue where my mind was taking this post.

Note to self: Have you ever thought what human tastes like? Well you should know, your tongue is only constantly tasting yourself.

Yay for my spasmodic brain!

M3

Question. How much of planet Earth can anyone see at once? Practically speaking… very little. But even if you were standing on our moon (why are you doing that?) you would only be able to see 49% of Earth’s surface.

Does this mean that only less than half of the Earth exists?

If you were holding a Timbit (also known as a “donut hole”) in your hand, you’d only see a portion of the Timbit. Taking this example further, let’s say you are somehow able to flatten the Timbit so you could see all of its surface at one time, you still wouldn’t be able to see everything below the surface.

So we agree that even though you can only see a fraction of a Timbit at a time, we can piece together the information and come up with a mental understanding or a mental picture of what the whole Timbit looks like. Right? Okay, glad that we agree.

Now let’s go back to the Earth example.

There are those that maintain that the world is flat. Now, let’s forget the fact that we can prove that they’re wrong using data and observable clues. They’re somewhat right.

The average human height is around 1.65 meters (depending on your source data) which means that the average human can see about 4.6 kilometers of the Earth’s surface in any one direction while standing on smooth land. Most of the time you can’t even see past the trees, building, or whatever is around you. So from your perspective, the planet does indeed appear flat. Within our reality, and at our scale, for all intents and purposes of daily life, Earth is flat. But it’s also not flat.

I bring this all up partly to mess with your brain and partly because it’s late and I have a headache yet I still have to write a blog post. I also bring this up as an analogy.

The Earth is many things. It’s flat, it’s round, it’s wet, it’s dry, it changes shape, it’s immovable, it’s hurtling through space and spinning around in a bunch of directions at once. All of that is true at the same time. The Earth being wet in the middle of the Pacific Ocean doesn’t negate the fact that it’s super dry in the Gobi Desert. You have hurricanes happening in the Caribbean at the same time as perfect tanning weather elsewhere.

It’s complex.

It’ about perception.

It’s about knowledge.

You take the bits of information you can observe or learn and then stitch that together into a larger picture.

And then you throw time into the mix. Just because it’s not raining right now doesn’t mean it hasn’t or won’t rain. You know that the rainy season is about to begin so you prepare for rain. But does it actually arrive? We’ll have to see.

I try to think of people in this way. People are ever-changing. You can never see every part of another human’s soul, mind, or personality at the same time. You see bits here and there and you piece it together to get a larger picture.

When someone is crying and hiding their face, it doesn’t automatically define them as a crying sad person. It doesn’t even necessarily meant that they’re sad at that moment. You only see one part. It’s only one expression of a narrow sampling of their being.

Every single person is a complex being with countless aspects of their being. You won’t see all of it. You don’t know everything that’s going on. You don’t have all of the information. People can be happy and sad, fearful and brave, or any combo of emotions/states at the same time. One emotion or state being true doesn’t preclude another emotion or state also being true.

Let’s keep this in mind as we interact with other humans in our daily lives. We each have a unique perspective, each with our own window into the world. We affect others… our actions can both do good and do harm. You can’t know how you affect another person—you might not even know that you have affected another person.

Let’s be kind and understanding to one another.

And let’s be kind and understanding to ourselves as well, because you are just as complex as any other person. It’s hard to figure out what’s going on with yourself let alone another human being. You might be “an introvert”, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t outgoing in the right situation. We have many facets to our being and we are never the same all the time. Labels like introvert help us understand each other and communicate, but we should never limit someone—or ourselves—by those labels. Labels shouldn’t create separate boxes. We are constantly evolving; we’re not static.

We’re complex.

We’re beautiful.

(Please note that I am having a hard time writing this blog post [partly because of a headache] but I’m trying to make a point that’s been rattling around in my brain for a long while now. Maybe I’ll read this in a week or two and come up with a more concise way to communicate it. Thanks for sticking with me, friends.)

(Also… I recommend watching this. And this. And also this. But especially watch that first one.)

M3