Tag: life

It’s been a long time…

…but not that long.

I’m back now and that’s what counts.

Besides, I’ve been unable to blog for various reasons.

Sounds like it’s time for an update!

What’s new with me

I think that I told you about leaving my job a few months ago due to health problems relating to my Crohn’s. Well, that’s been an ongoing issue with a bunch of other problems that go along with it, like mental health. That’s been a major struggle.

I have an app to track my mood and activities on a daily basis, which is really helpful for me. I can look back at the past and see trends in a colourful graph with information that connects activity and mood. The app is called Daylio; I highly recommend it to anyone who’s interested in understanding their mental health and mood. It’s not a complete solution, but it’s a great tool. The best part is that it’s well designed, free of ads, can be used for free, and when you pay for it, it’s a single, one-time purchase. So good.

Anyway, the past several weeks have been not so great-looking in my app, with some really bad days. Depression has been a constant companion for me, which isn’t fun or easy. Panic attacks, lack of motivation, and no interest in doing “normal things” have become the norm. Don’t get me wrong, there’ve been some great things happening too. But overall I’m feeling not so good.

Which brings me to another not fun thing that’s happened. My partner had to go back to the States for the summer. Which isn’t fun either. Especially in a city with not many close friends.

There’s also good news!

On the flip side, I finally FINALLY have a family doctor!! 🙌 It’s taken so long for this, but it’s finally here and it’s just so helpful and good for my continuing medical care.

There’s a clinic that is one SkyTrain stop away from my house that recently had two new doctors move in… and they have been accepting new patients! Which was such a relief, let me tell you. Although, the process was kind of underwhelming… I was expecting more issues getting a family doctor. Like it ended up being too easy.

I filled out the attachment request form, or whatever it’s called, they called me back, setup an appointment, and voila! I have a doctor. Simple, easy, peasy. Glad that it wasn’t more of a pain to do that. So YAY! 😸

I also have a counsellor that I don’t have to pay for out-of-pocket. Which is amazing and really quite timely with all of these long-term mental issues coming at me full force. Things really have worked out as I always believe they will. It’s just difficult to deal with my obsessive brain panicking and whatnot.

Good times!

So yeah, things have been very wild these past few weeks! There was also a little thing with my blog’s domain name expiring and I couldn’t renew it right away, but now that I have, I’m back to blogging weekly. Yay for rebuilding the writing habit!

I think it’ll be good for me to get back into my blog. Gives me something to focus on that’s not too strenuous and a good creative outlet that feels good on my brain. So get ready for more posts from me!

Oh yeah…

I also started recording a new podcast with a friend here in Vancouver, which just rocks. Every time that I’ve done a podcast it’s been with people across the internet, which is amazing—don’t get me wrong. It’s so wild that I can do podcasts with people who live across the continent from me. I love it.

It’s nice to be able to do a project like that with someone in person. So this has been a real treat! Especially since we record at the Vancouver Public Library’s studio space. Such a fantabulous resource.

We haven’t quite published the podcast yet… but it’s coming very soon. I’ll keep you update.

Anywhom!

That’s all for now. Tune in next week to hear me giggle like a hyena! 🤣

Where to start?

I sometimes have high expectations for myself.

🤨

Okay… very high expectations.

😑

Yes, yes. I often have unrealistically high expectations for myself.

This blog is one of those things. Even though I don’t end up putting too much effort into what I write on here (most things end up being silly and totally great!), I do tend to let my high expectations prevent me from just writing.

It’s annoying and I don’t like it. I find that it gets in the way of many things and leads to my low-key freaking out or nearly breaking down because I’m not good enough. Or, at the very least, the things I do aren’t good enough.

Question to self: What even is this “good enough”? Good enough for what? For whom? And why?

Even now, as my partner read what I wrote so far, I’m feeling like this post won’t be that good either. I mean, it’s probably because I don’t have a point to make… I started this post as I often do; not knowing what I’m going to type.

Maybe it’s all part of imposter syndrome? Or maybe since I’m generally good at doing a lot of things, I fear that I’ll not do a great job, so instead of doing my best and having it possibly fail, I either intentionally fail and laugh it off as a joke, or I stress about it and worry that whatever I’m doing won’t be good enough.

But again… good enough for what? What standard do I need to meet? Why can’t I just not be worried about this?!?!

…

Man, I need to chill.

Anyway…

I actually intended to give you an update about my life over the past several months. Let’s do that instead!

Sooo… where to start?

I’m tempted to start at the very beginning… 🎶 A very good place to start! 🎶 etc, etc

Over the past couple of weeks, I was actually surprised with very unexpected visits from three people! One of my aunts was in town and texted me two Fridays ago… and then last Friday my sister came home and we dragged her bags down to the ferry… and also last Friday one of my bestest friends from my home town texted me and we had a wonderful evening with each other and our partners! I hadn’t seen her in almost TWO YEARS!!! It’s crazy!

It’s been quite the time, let me tell you… 😸 and quite the boost for my spirit!

Other than that… I left my position at my cafe, which is really exciting and good for my overall health. (I was going crazy over there!) I kinda miss that place and making drinks for the regular customers, but I don’t miss being in charge and having to deal with all of the manager-type junk by myself.

The one downside is that I should probably start working somewhere else fairly soon. I’ve already applied at IKEA (HA!) and a few other places, but I have no clue what I’ll be doing. It’s an adventure!

Spring is definitely here and summer is speeding towards us! (Us being Vancouver and the surrounding area.) I’m so happy to see life coming back in my surroundings along with the warmer weather. It makes getting outside more pleasant and brings the opportunity for more outdoor activities, such as kayaking, hiking, geocaching, and spraying smokers with water! Can’t wait!

I also have renewed creative juices flowing and new inspiration for projects that I want to work on! I’m really excited about them all, and I can’t wait to share them with the world! It will take some time before I can do that, and I’ll also need to buy some new equipment, but I really want to do more projects. I need to do more projects. I need that outlet.

And after all of that rambling I hope that you’re not left feeling confuzzled and dazed. That’s all for now, so I’ll say bye bye.

See ya later, friends! 👋