Some jokes!

What is it called when Batman leaves church early?

Christian Bale.

How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

Knock-Knock Jokes

The person who invented knock-knock jokes deserves a “no-bell” prize.

What did the grape say when it was squeezed?

Nothing. It just gave out a little wine.

What did the house wear to the party?

Address.

Frog parking only!

All others will be toad.

I walk Five Miles every day.

My dog’s name is Five Miles.

I told a chemistry joke once.

I got no reaction.

Some tweets!

The best use of pie charts to date, IMO:

Finally a pie graph that makes sense… pic.twitter.com/CGNhlN9e8N

— Bence Nanay (@BenceNanay) September 15, 2017

Funny how things like this start and stick:

Roommate: "Speaking of Phil Collins, I'm going to the bathroom." From then on, "Going to see Phil" was code for bathroom. #MyWeirdRoommate

— Tamara Walker, BBCD, BBCI, BBCPPD (@MomRN) September 7, 2017

Glad that got figured out:

https://twitter.com/jeanine_c1/status/905626550745354240

This is totally me:

Walked into my roommate having a funeral for a dead mouse that we caught #MyWeirdRoommate

— The bakery (@Thebrickyard95) September 7, 2017

Some poems!

To be, or not to be: a parody

2-B or not 2-B, that is the question…that the pizza delivery person is pondering.

Alrighty, so I only have one poem and it’s not very good. Deal with it.

M3