What is it called when Batman leaves church early?
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
The person who invented knock-knock jokes deserves a “no-bell” prize.
What did the grape say when it was squeezed?
Nothing. It just gave out a little wine.
What did the house wear to the party?
Frog parking only!
All others will be toad.
I walk Five Miles every day.
My dog’s name is Five Miles.
I told a chemistry joke once.
I got no reaction.
The best use of pie charts to date, IMO:
Finally a pie graph that makes sense… pic.twitter.com/CGNhlN9e8N
— Bence Nanay (@BenceNanay) September 15, 2017
Funny how things like this start and stick:
Roommate: "Speaking of Phil Collins, I'm going to the bathroom." From then on, "Going to see Phil" was code for bathroom. #MyWeirdRoommate
— Tamara Walker, BBCD, BBCI, BBCPPD (@MomRN) September 7, 2017
Glad that got figured out:
This is totally me:
Walked into my roommate having a funeral for a dead mouse that we caught #MyWeirdRoommate
— The bakery (@Thebrickyard95) September 7, 2017
To be, or not to be: a parody
2-B or not 2-B, that is the question…that the pizza delivery person is pondering.
Alrighty, so I only have one poem and it’s not very good. Deal with it.