Everyone already knows this, but I co-host a podcast with Ryan Matlock called The Aux Cable. We were ticking along releasing a new episode each week until the summer hit bringing with it illness and busy-ness for us both. So the show ended up slipping for a little more than two-ish months while we focused on life’s bumps.
Last week we released a brand new episode that explained our absence to our audience as well as promising new episodes coming on a weekly basis once again. That’s why I’ve been working to edit our next episode that we actually recorded back in June before I moved to Vancouver; seems like forever ago! It’s actually kinda weird to edit something from that time period because I don’t fully recall what we actually recorded, it’s all kinda new to me in a way. But that also presents a slight challenge as it slows the editing process slightly.
That brings me to my point… I’m trying to figure out just how much I should edit. Because Ryan and I are in separate locations when recording, there tends to be a very slight delay between the two of us speaking. It doesn’t sound like too much of a delay when we’re actually recording, but it kinda stands out during playback. So we edit out most of the silences and pauses to elicit a more natural sounding conversation. If we were recording together in-person, I’m sure that we wouldn’t end up editing the tracks quite so much, but that’s not the case.
I’ve tried editing the podcast less in the past, but I ended up getting caught up with removing silences and such. I’m hoping that I won’t do that again with this next episode because I want to see how it sounds and what people say about it if anything. It will also cut down on editing time in the future. But the obsessive artist in me wants to quibble about every last second of the podcast even though it’s a silly Q&A talk show. It’s a great show in my opinion, but very silly, which makes it fun.
I’m gonna set the editing aside until the morning. There’s much left to complete, but it’s better to do it during the day instead of staying up uber late as I tend to do with these kinds of projects.
See y’all tomorrow and don’t forget to subscribe! 🙃
*insert blog post here*
(Almost) all of my family is now here in Vancouver! Dad is visiting for a while with the kidlets. It’s so great to see them all again!
I have no clue what the plan is, but I’m sure we gonna have a blast!
Otherwise, today’s been fine. I’ve still not been feeling well, but some things are better. Besides doing some Paddlefest work, I began rewriting a web app that I started working on a few years back. I started by writing a new API for the server backend and I’m considering writing the frontend with Angular. Whatever framework I use (or build), I want to incorporate service workers, which is uncharted territory for me.
Keep it classy, folks!
The way you think about yourself determines your reality. You are not being hurt by the way people think about you. Many of those people are a reflection of how you think about yourself.
Someone in my life is currently in a lot of pain. They can’t see anything clearly. They need help. And I can’t provide it. Nobody around this person can help them. Only they themselves can do that. They need to realize and accept that they need help. Until that happens, they hurt themselves and all of those around them.
I feel very lost tonight.
Please remember that you are amazing and valued. Your feelings are valid and should be expressed. Everyone needs help. It’s not a sign of weakness to recognise this and do something about it. The more you know about yourself, the more effectively you can deal with life’s problems. Please, everyone around you loves you and wants you to stop hurting. We are powerless. You are powerful.
Okay, just after I typed out ‘mantra’ I thought of the word ‘katra’, which is the living spirit of a Vulcan from Star Trek. Just a little side note there.
Mantras can be helpful things. I’m talking about those sayings that you repeat to yourself that help you focus on something. Repeating a mantra every day can be a helpful tool to put you in a more favourable headspace. It can return your thoughts to a goal you have. It can encourage you to keep going, to not give up. A mantra can help you smile.
Whether you know it or not, every day you subconsciously have a mantra in your head. Or something like a mantra. It might not be specific words or something of which you are conscious, but it’s there in some form, like a thought or mentality.
When you wake up, what’s your first thought? Where do you take your thoughts once you are fully awake? Are you focussing on negatives? Are you thinking about food? Whatever it is, that daily thought you have can become an unconscious mantra. And that mantra can evolve and change since it isn’t specifically defined and you’re not aware of it.
For a time, I consciously repeated a mantra every day to help encourage myself and put me in a certain headspace. Usually, it was something simple like, “the early bird catches the worm,” or, “learn from yesterday and make new mistakes today,” or, “smile!” Just a little phrase that I’d have written down somewhere in my room. Something I would actually say out loud to myself.
I need to get back to some of the tools I’ve developed over the years, and I think this is one that could possibly help me right now. Even though I’m happy and such, I’ve been quite awful to myself. I tell everyone to be kind to others and themselves, but I haven’t been very kind to myself recently. In some ways, I have been kind to myself, but generally, I haven’t. That should change.
Today I’ve been thinking of what my new mantra should be this week, to get me thinking more positively again. Everything I think of is way too perky for my current liking, so I turned to the internet for some inspiration.
I could be super sarcastic here and insert a bunch of— ah, let’s do the sarcastic thing, Matthew!!
Note to self: Stop listening to yourself!! Or wait… nevermind that. It makes no sense.
I found this particularly funny as a mantra:
i'm sorry i was distracted by my lack of giving a shit…
— The Weeknd (@theweeknd) April 21, 2012
(Maybe I should warn you that I may occasionally include or say something on this blog that could be viewed as… potentially inappropriate? Like that ‘shit’ up there.)
Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
I could get behind that one.
Long story short…
I’ve decided to use ‘smile’ as my mantra. Just keeping it simple and easy for now. Starting small, working from there and all that. So tomorrow morning, I’m going to wake up, read my mantra aloud, and force a smile. Maybe it will stick on my face. 😀
Anyway… yup. That’s pretty much it for today.
Do you have a mantra? If so, what is it?
Good news, friends! Today I have discovered my new top enemy.
No, no… Calm down. It’s not me. We already knew that my true enemy is myself. That’s not news.
To be honest, this discovery isn’t that surprising. I’ve known about it for a while. But today, the danger posed by this enemy has become more apparent and ever more imminent.
My enemy? The sun.
That’s right. My number one enemy is the big nuclear reaction hanging in space upon which life on Earth depends.
The reason I consider the sun my enemy is simple. It burned me. See, I’m taking medications that make my skin more sensitive to sunlight. I’m already a ginger that has struggled with sunburns all my life, so this just compounds the problem.
On Sunday, I got a little tanned during my hike with Mom. I didn’t burn, thank goodness! But now my skin is even more sensitive because of the tan. I drove my sister to a couple of places, but I didn’t apply sunscreen. By the time I returned home, my arms had actually started to burn.
So now I have to be even more cautious with exposing my skin to the sun’s death ray.
Look out, friends!! The sun is not your friend!!
I have been in Vancouver for a few weeks now, but I haven’t done too much socializing outside of my family’s friends. Meeting new people is a big deal for me. I can do it, and I’m really good at socializing, but it’s scary. I know I’m not alone in that fear. Many people also struggle with this or a similar issue.
I mentioned the possibility of my joining a cooking class. I’ll be looking into that this week. I’m also gonna start attending a Crohn’s and Colitis support group. And I’ve downloaded the Meetup app to see about finding some groups to join for some fun activities! There’s some fun stuff listed on that app. Everything from Star Trek game groups to hacking events to nerdy movie nights to hiking packs and even an improv rock choir! It all sounds quite amazing and right up my alley.
So that’s gonna be part of my challenge this week. To reach out a bit and put myself out there. It’s gonna be great!
I’m also gonna apply on some more jobs on top of attending a couple meetings for Paddlefest. Oh, and I need to get a blood test… Can’t forget that!
Today I went on the Grouse Grind with my mother! It was amazing! My first time to there and it was simply brilliant. Basically, the grind is a steep and challenging hike up the side of a mountain. Grouse Mountain, to be exact! And once you get to the top, there’s a bunch of stuff that you can do, including zipline runs, paragliding, helicopter tours, am amazing restaurant, some wildlife shows, a lumberjack demo complete with log rolling, and even more!
Mom and I want to start doing the grind once a week. So that journey started today with our first successful attempt which to us eighty minutes, including a snack break at the halfway point. A really good time! And once we reached the top, we bought an annual pass! So we’re locked in for this goal. It’s happening.
SOC (Stream of consciousness)—So, today I’ve eaten a great amount of food, yet I’m still very hungry.
Mom made a large breakfast consisting of eggs, guacamole, toast, hash browns, and a really punchy smoothie. All very yummers! I really enjoyed it. Then we drove up the coast to Whistler for a change of scenery. It’s such a pretty drive up the Sea to Sky Highway! Once we arrived, and after looking around for a bit, we sat down at a restaurant for some food. Mom wasn’t really hungry, but I was. So we got a lovely Mediterranean flatbread dish to share, and I got a large veggie burger with a side of coleslaw. Again, very delicious!
The first thing I did when I got home was to make myself some more food. But I had just finished eating 90 minutes earlier. Even as I write this, I could still go for some food. But I’m not going to because it’s not a great idea.
And all of the food I ate was whole, unprocessed food. The good stuff. My body is just messed up.
I have a very love/hate relationship with food. With my Crohn’s, food is not a very fun thing for me, even though I love food! Playing around in the kitchen is one of my favourite things. My Instagram can attest to that; it’s full of food pics!
Anyway. I’m very competent in a kitchen and can whip up a tasty meal without looking at a recipe, but I’ve been thinking I’ll join a cooking class to help keep me inspired and excited about food. At the very least I’ll be able to connect with others who are excited about food, too!
Note to self: Find a cooking group or class to join in the next week!
I’m unable to write because I have a really bad headache. I’ve been in bed all day.