Big things happened today. Big things happened.

I probably shouldn’t write about them publicly at this point because they’re so fresh and all the information hasn’t been pulled together yet, but damn… life is always seemingly so extra around me and my family. (And I was just starting to feel comfortable and okay with where things are! …of course. 🫠)

It’s partly why I’m scared when people get close these days. Not that I’m afraid to have people know about potentially embarrassing, messy things from my life and my past… but more that (in the past) some people were all supportive despite that, and then started withdrawing for no apparent reason. Then I find out baggage and actually facing my issues and dealing with problems (instead of ignoring them) was part of the reason they started to distance themselves. Having that “drama” around was too much.

I feel like it’s a two-faced thing… but I also completely understand. It’s a lot to handle, especially when it’s not your shit. A lot of it isn’t even directly mine, but I get stuck with it and the effects of it too, and I can’t just walk away from all of it when I want.

Anyway. Someone got seriously injured tonight near my house… I went into first-responder mode because I didn’t know if I was showing up to a fresh incident scene or if there were already first responders there. Thankfully, a full contingent of medics, police, and support personnel were already there though… so my role wasn’t on patient care. Just focused on my family.

To be clear, my direct family is/was not injured. But some of us are very much involved and affected by the whole thing. Especially one of my siblings. Which they really don’t like.

And this was after spending the whole day in hospital after being woken up early this morning by a brain-breaking migraine that was so bad that I couldn’t stand it for even fifteen minutes. All my medications, tricks, and other normal interventions for such things, didn’t even make a dent. In fact the migraine was worsening and the pain had already started out at 7/10 in my distorted pain scale.

At least my migraine had nearly almost completely been snuffed out by the time I got the frightening call about… the accident.

I may post more when it’s appropriate. In the meantime, I’m hoping for the best, but keeping a realistic outlook as well. I’m gonna take it day by day and not focus on the future.

Things will get better.