I set some goals at the beginning of the month for myself. Besides those four goals, I had some other big “to do” items, some of which I have completed! Others still need doing. But we’re here to check in on the four main goals for October. Let’s jump in!

1. Exercise and eat more regularly. — 6/10

I’ve probably mentioned that I’ve been quite depressed over the past few weeks. Because of that, I haven’t done too much eating. Exercise helps me feel better in some ways even on my sickest days, but unless I have good reason to get out of the house to move my body, the depression wins and I’ll just sit inside doing nothing.

Over the past few days, though, I’ve been feeling better overall. Mostly. Whatever the case, I’ve slowly been eating more each day. Which is good. I’ve also been moving a lot more. Today I even hiked nearly ten kilometers! (That’s 6.2-ish miles!) So I’m going to give myself a 6/10 for this goal.

2. No screens after 23:00. — 4/10

Part of the reason I’ve not been doing well is because I’ve been lacking sleep. Every night I get into bed, start having a panic attack, and lie awake for hours. I was trying to do things not involving a screen to distract myself… but that isn’t what’s happened. Many nights I’ve listened to audio drama to help me get to sleep, but other nights I stay up watching Netflix or whatever.

However… the past few nights I’ve been doing much better. So for now I’m giving myself a 4/10.

3. Refocus on creating. — 2/10

It’s hard to judge this one because I’m unable to be as creative when depressed. Writing blog posts has been a struggle even with my list of prompts and stuffs. I’ve taken some steps to make my environment more conducive for physically being creative (like painting or making paper art), but I haven’t done much.

It might sound harsh, but since I haven’t been very creative, I’m giving myself a 2/10.

4. Focus on friends. — 8/10

While my sister was out of town for a week, one of my close friends made it a point to call me a few times to chat. On top of that, I’ve reconnected with another friend a bit more. Annnnd I’ve been a little more involved with the nerd group at the nerd cafe! I haven’t really been in the mood to make new friends, but I’ve still tried (and succeeded!) to do that regardless.

I’ve kinda been introverty recently, but I’ve done well with this goal. I’m giving myself an 8/10.

That’s about it for now. I’ve been reminding myself of these goals fairly regularly but I haven’t been able to push myself much until this week. Now that I’m feeling a bit better, I’ve been able to do more. I’ve gotten rid of some stress, brought back some old tools for my anxiety, and tried to focus on the basics for my health.

I can only do so much at one time, and while right now I’m not able to do much beyond focus on my health, I have to fight the urge to take on more than I can handle.

Note to self and others: Keep up the good work!

M3